A Lesson in Self-Care

Last night before sleep in the v-berth, I imagined a Monica TED Talk on the importance of daily skincare. She opened with a question to the audience: What’s the biggest organ in the human body? I’d been thinking about skin because I felt proud of myself for remembering to use face lotion. Then I realized I’d forgotten something. Monica would’ve gotten my ears.

Monica lotioned me the way she did most everything — with universe-scale gusto, using way more than you’d think could be absorbed. Arms first, glopping so much lotion onto my shoulder that her fingers were barely palpable against my skin. If I mentioned this to her, she’d remind me that, technically speaking, no two humans can truly ever touch each other. But as she worked the lotion down from shoulder to bicep to elbow to forearm, the barrier thinned, and when she got to the hand, it was a fifteen-fingered kinetic lotion sculpture, five big and ten small, not technically touching of course, but, you know, loving one another.

Next, palmfuls of a different specialized lotion got smooshed onto my cheeks and forehead and nose and worked into every part of my face and neck with all of her fingers as though she was blind and trying to learn me good. This was the best part because her glee could not be contained. She’d burst into a smile and, giggling, ask me why I was smiling. Then she’d giggle and smile wider when I’d answer, “Because you are.”

Then the ears and at last the kiss, our all-time favorite way of applying my lip balm.