Crema, Cannabis, Coils, Cacio e Pepe, and Chords

In this, the second edition of The Cut, we’ll cover bad marketing of good things, dockside etiquette, the world’s best macaroni and cheese, and song selection for a novice guitarist.

Recall that The Cut is where I pontificate about things I like, heavily influenced by Monica’s exquisite tastes, which now and forever live in my heart.

This is a special day of the year for Monica and me as you’ll learn below, assuming you get to the end.

Okay, we have a lot to cover, so here we go.

Crema

I’m a sucker for coffee gadgets, and I noticed that Keurig just came out with a new machine that makes espresso-like coffee. The marketing copy cracks me up, starting with a What is crema? explainer near the top.

The thing is, Nespresso has technology that’s been churning out alt-espresso for years. Their machines spin pods at 4,000 RPM to make centrifugal crema. Accordingly, product reviews often reserve space to address this, probably to maintain credibility with snobby readers:

That means you’ll end up with this matte froth on top of your coffee which is meant to replicate crema, but doesn’t do an amazing job… I have a proposition: what if you just bought an espresso machine?

— Tom’s Guide

Keurig’s new product is a higher-pressure version of their existing drip pod, deliberately not quite an espresso machine. They want to expand into Big Espresso to increase demand for those pods, while avoiding the type of criticism the media has thrown at Nespresso. So, Keurig decides to just brand the word “crema” and try to own it. Fuck it. Todd and other coffee snobs can take it up with the AIs. They call the machine K-Crema, and they market crema like it’s just made its debut on Earth, and well, if you only drink Keurig coffee, maybe it has.

Monica and I love espresso and its crema and would have a field day with all this. We’d give the espresso-like substance a name, AE (Artificial Espresso), and contemplate doomsday scenarios where, left unregulated, AE very likely brings about the complete demise of human espresso within seven to ten years.

And then we’d probably re-re-watch Mad Men.

Cannabis

Speaking of Mad Men. My dudes, what in the world are you thinking with the newfangled names for grass and its various delivery devices?

Pre-roll? Flower? Dab rig? I especially like dab rig. Why these names? Are you all suits who’d never touched the stuff before you rolled into town and set up shop? Or maybe you actually were familiar with joints, buds, and pipes and decided to rebrand it all because business school.

In any case, as Monica and I loved to discuss, there’s kind of nothing cool about any of it these days, and…it sure has gotten better. I mean, I don’t think you can even get schwag anymore. It’s all dank. Plus you can have it delivered to your home and not feel obligated to invite the courier to stay for a courtesy bake.

Coils

When it comes to marina etiquette, there are many things you can do with the bitter ends of your dock lines. From least to most courteous, the options are: toss them in a clumsy heap without a thought, loosely coil, daisy chain, or Flemish coil.

According to Monica:

The thoughtless clumsy heap is a potential tripping hazard, and isn’t pretty, and is thoughtless, and clumsy.

The loose coil is safer, if done neatly, but it’s not pretty. Most boaters loosely coil.

The daisy chain, while pretty like a braided necklace, is also a line-handling risk because it could jam or unchain unexpectedly under load.

I always go with the Flemish coil. Monica said it’s like leaving pretty little welcome rugs for dock neighbors, Fudgies, and gulls.

Cacio e Pepe

Today is, in a parallel universe, Monica’s and my 21st wedding anniversary. At the crack of dawn we raced to be the first to say, “Happy anniversary! This is the day all your wildest dreams came true.” We both want to be the catch in the relationship.

Monica usually made cacio e pepe, a deceptively difficult dish, for our anniversary supper, and we’d splurge on a great bottle of red wine. There’s nothing in the world as good as that October 14th cacio e pepe with Monica.

By happenstance, in the familiar universe, our good friend Pete recently asked our good friend Travis to make cacio e pepe for a little dinner party. It was fantastic. It’s an amazing food and Travis is a damned good cook. I know Monica would have adored it.

Chords

I started learning guitar on December 23, 2025, the day after I woke and Monica didn’t. I’ve played a song for Monica every morning since then (296 if you’re counting).

Again, in a parallel universe, I’m sure she’s pretty relieved that I keep improving because those first days were painful for both of us.

Mi Amor

Today, fingers fully calloused,
every song is for you.

Only stuff you like.
No fucking Phish.